Two years ago today, I became a mother and my world was forever changed. While time and time again, I heard people say that parenthood changes everything, it isn’t until you experience this yourself that you truly understand the meaning of it all. I am not talking about accommodating schedules, adjusting to sleep deprivation, and scaling back on the night on the town… I am referring to the imprint that this small being will infinitely brand in your heart.
Today I had the honor of witnessing my niece’s birth and with the overwhelming emotions of anxiety and, later joy, emerged the nostalgia of my own experience. I think back to my pregnancy, to how I longed for that maternal affection for my growing bump and then just laying eyes on my daughter brought this immense (unexplainable and unimaginable) love. The two years that have passed have brought endless memories but, most importantly for me, it has blessed me with a fuller heart. My daughter has allowed me to feel a sense of purpose and has made me better acquainted with someone whom I thought I had all figured out… Me!
On a daily basis, she keeps me on my toes craving more of my time while standing up for her independence. Simple games of pretend prompt me to question choices I make (for her, for us, for myself). Temper tantrums (and relentless power struggles) test my patience in ways I haven’t been tested before. But, the moments were she plops down to give me an unexpected kiss, or when she apologizes (at her own time, through her own accord) demonstrating empathy or remorse, that’s what makes it all worthwhile. How you can love someone so much, is something I cannot explain but, I do stand by the fact that you must learn to indulge in it all. It goes by way too fast!
Today she is two (although she says she is ocho!) and while it’s only two years, it feels like I blinked and here we are now. A walking, talking, 26 pound little Lola carrying around my heart in hers. I grow a little sad knowing it’s all happening so fast and already I ask myself where the time has gone, but I only wish that she keeps growing into the dynamic being she seems to be, that she never loses sight of herself, and that she always lets her wild spirit soar.
Happy Birthday mi Sofia!
xoxo
Photography by Cesarin Mateo
