Hola Familias,
Today, I adopted my niece Zola. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life. On one hand, I felt immense joy—after five years of caring for her, she is finally, fully mine. No more oversight, no more restrictions on vacations, no more constant supervision over the decisions I make for her. We are free to move forward and build the life we want, on our own terms.
But at the same time, the moment was bittersweet. In adopting my niece, I had to fully accept what I lost—my sister, her mother. She has struggled with mental health and addiction for years, and while I hope she finds her way back to us, the reality is that I had to step into a role I never imagined for myself. Loving my sister while raising her daughter has been one of the most complex and challenging experiences of my life. I am her aunt, but I am also her mom.
To those in our Lola & Tots community who have adopted or are in the process of adopting, I see you. I know the emotional rollercoaster, the endless paperwork, the uncertainty, and the hope that comes with it. I also know the deep love that makes it all worth it. If you are in this journey, whether at the beginning, the middle, or navigating life after finalization, know that you are not alone.
Here are a few things that have helped me along the way:
💛 Give yourself grace. Adoption is layered with joy and grief. It’s okay to feel both.
💛 Lean on your people. Community matters—whether it’s family, friends, or fellow adoptive parents who just get it.
💛 Hold space for their story. No matter how much love we pour into our children, they still have a history that is uniquely theirs. Honoring it is part of the journey.
Today isn’t just about what was lost—it’s about the love, commitment, and family that we have built.
For anyone who needs support or just a listening ear, my door is always open.
We are in this together. 💛
