Hola Familias,
At Lola & Tots, we see it every day — parents trying their best to show up with patience, softness, and understanding. That’s what we love about gentle parenting. But let’s be real: sometimes, it feels like the boundaries get lost in the process.
Saying yes all the time isn’t gentle — it’s exhausting. And saying no doesn’t mean you’re being mean. It means you’re being clear.
Your toddler needs structure. Not perfection. They need to know where the edges are, so they can feel safe pushing up against them.
Try Saying This Instead:
(Real language from our space that keeps it loving and firm.)
🗣 “I’m not going to let you hit. You’re mad, and I’m right here with you.” → Let them feel it. Keep the boundary.
🗣 “We’re done with that toy for now. You can choose something else.” → Choices are power, but limits are the anchor.
🗣 “It’s time to go. Do you want to hop or walk?” → The boundary stays. You’re still offering some control.
Teach the Stage, Don’t Just Tolerate It
Toddlers are going to test. That’s part of it. But instead of always correcting after the fact, get them involved in what happens next.
We told a couple of parents recently — when your kid keeps throwing things on the floor, bring them into the cleanup. No yelling, no shaming. Just: 🧹 “You threw the toy. Now we clean it up together.”
After doing that a few times? The throwing slowed down. Because they learned from the process, not just the consequence.
Sometimes the lesson isn’t “don’t do it” — it’s “here’s how we fix it.” And that sticks.
Reminder:
You’re not failing because your kid is testing you. You’re not too strict if they cry when you hold a line. You’re the adult. They’re learning from you. That’s the work.
Parenting Is a Lot. We Get It.
We’re not here to hand out gold stars or pretend there’s one “right way.” We’re just a community of grown-ups raising little people — trying to stay grounded while the snacks get spilled.
We see how hard you’re working. We’re here if you need backup.
Love,
The Lola and Tots Team
