Woman with 2 kids near a bridge

here’s to the mom tribe

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The other night, I went on a Wegman’s run and those close to me know that I do enjoy an hour or two walking the aisles pondering over snack choices and gluten-free items to try… and don’t get me started on the assortment of cheeses. One thing I don’t enjoy though is squeezing this therapeutic experience (don’t judge) between my eldest’s vision therapy appointment and a mentoring virtual meeting, on hump day, while dealing with an overtired two year old. That was definitely not relaxing!

Rushing back home to make the call, I found myself praying for easy parking since it seems that these days no one leaves their apartments. I get to the front of my building ready to empty the trunk but first had to figure out what to do with the sleeping tot and the tired kiddo in the back seat. That’s when my tribe comes through…

This post is dedicated to the 101 ways my tribe shows up. I video called my little sister so that while I ran in and out of my building, dropping groceries at my apartment door, she would accompany my girls. I think one of the things that are easy to overlook are those tiny little details that become a struggle for a single parent. Who can you tag team with since you alone are running the show?

I recently contributed to a Parents Latina article that shed light on single mamahood. Nearly 25% of all Latino children in the U.S. are raised by single moms (source: US Census Bureau) and since we Latinos usually roll deep, it is no surprise that extended family is crucial to us Latina single mamas. My parents show up every Tuesday to help care for Luna since I, alone, cannot afford childcare and this gives me one whole work day a week without a toddler at my heels. My mom comes with a home-cooked meal so there is much to look forward to on Tuesdays when instead of coming home from work to decide what to cook and take the time to actually make it, I can use the time to cross out a few of the numerous tasks on my agenda. My retired dad has become our reliable laundry service… every time he comes here or whenever I go visit my parents, you will see one of us lugging around a laundry bag (or two), making our routine exchange. Let me not even get started on my sister/biz partner… we truly are sharing much of the child rearing. She not only cares for them on a daily basis, helps me with managing my first-grader’s remote learning, and even picks up when I slack at work, but she’s also the one I talk to when I’m wallowing in self-doubt. Single mamahood is hard when you are doing the heavy lifting and although you have the freedom to do things your way, it’s not always what you want.

There are so many friends that I have leaned on. I have learned to ask for help. I have a solid support system that listens to me when I do not feel enough, when I am second guessing myself as a mother. I know that all I need to do is voice my concerns and I will have a tribe behind me, making me feel supported, validating my feelings and allowing me to see myself through their eyes. Yes, I am strong and a good mother but I know I am that much better because of my tribe.

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